Questions and Answers

This is really not a wise decision and is not the best God has in store for our lives. It’s so much better to take what God had in mind (waiting to come together until marriage) and apply it freely and lovingly than to see how far we can push the boundary of that instruction without sinning. It’s also not wise to put ourselves in a position where we could easily be tempted to compromise our values, or where even the appearance of how we’re living could cause others to stumble. We must ask ourselves what will bring God more glory.

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It is very honorable to save oneself sexually for marriage and to desire the same thing out of our future spouse. This is really God’s plan - that sex take place only in the marriage relationship, and we shouldn’t feel guilty for desiring that for our marriage. 
Depending on personal values, it may not be a negotiable factor to date someone who has previously had sex. This is a personal decision, and one that needs to be prayerfully considered.  But if this is something that is a strong personal value, and will be a stumbling block if not held to, then it should be honored.
However, it’s important to recognize that if someone has had sex outside of marriage, and has truly repented and asked God for forgiveness, they are washed clean in God’s eyes. If that person marries, God does not honor that marriage less, or “look down on it” because of a past sin. We must be careful to not apply labels on others or cast judgment.  God’s grace and love covers that and we have all sinned and fall short of God’s glorious standard (Romans 3:23).

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This will eventually reveal itself through the fruit in one’s life.  (Matthew 7:15-16) While we all make mistakes from time to time, through Godly discernment and guidance of the Holy Spirit, it can be evident if one is putting God first in their lives or not.  Make allowance for people’s faults, (Colossians 3:13) but if there’s something that needs to be revealed, ask that God reveal it.

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